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Jan. 10th, 2018 07:58 pmThe great sail seems so far away in the middle of winter - cold and wet here, with grey skies often for weeks at a time. There is work to be done on the boat and honestly, I am not the most mechanically inclined person. I can look up what to do and know the steps, but actually starting is an issue - as is follow through. I need some help to get the things done in order to make the trip happen.
Finances are another issue. I live on a fixed income, just enough to get by really because I live on a boat. I will continue to have income while we sail, currently my partner has a lack of funds and is looking for work in another state and due to come back in late spring. We need at least $1000 a month to travel on, I can bring half but not all of it.
And then there is time. I'm not getting any younger and my arthritis is kicking up this winter something fierce. We've been trying to make this trip since 2012, and still haven't managed it. We have the materials to bring the boat to bluewater standard, but my mechanically inept ass can't necessarily mount and install it all, nor can I just pay other people to do it for me.
My parents are older, my Dad lives in a nursing home and Mum takes care of my Gran at home as well as her best friend who is mentally ill. She's stretched a bit thin. She also wants me to move home and has gone so far as to clear out a room for me. Part of me wants to go.
But there are things and reasons to delay - the surgery I'm having in February for example. I'm having a chest contour and will need about a month to really recover, so that's mid to late March. Partner is expected back in April or May to return to the boat. But we really have to decide if we are going to get on with it, or give up - and if we do I'm going home.
I don't care for Louisiana, not really at all. I don't find the local culture charming in the slightest, though I do like zydeco music. But the way the state is run is a concern to me as a Democrat - while they are improving and have a D governor now, that can always change. So it can be a bad place to live on a fixed income, even if costs will be lower there.
But I miss my Mum. I went home for a week at the beginning of Chanukah and it was great, and we had a wonderful time just hanging out, not even going out all that much. We went to see Dad, we did a little shopping and worked on the house organization since there is a house and a half of stuff in there. I talk to her at least once a week just to shoot the shit. We were estranged for a long time, and now the time I have left of precious to me in a way it wasn't before. My Gran isn't going to live forever either, she's 91 and winding down like an old watch. She sleeps more and more and interacts less and less - she's ready to move on.
I don't want to give up on a lifelong dream, but at the same time - family is precious. This is going to be the year of hard choices, as well as a year of action.
Finances are another issue. I live on a fixed income, just enough to get by really because I live on a boat. I will continue to have income while we sail, currently my partner has a lack of funds and is looking for work in another state and due to come back in late spring. We need at least $1000 a month to travel on, I can bring half but not all of it.
And then there is time. I'm not getting any younger and my arthritis is kicking up this winter something fierce. We've been trying to make this trip since 2012, and still haven't managed it. We have the materials to bring the boat to bluewater standard, but my mechanically inept ass can't necessarily mount and install it all, nor can I just pay other people to do it for me.
My parents are older, my Dad lives in a nursing home and Mum takes care of my Gran at home as well as her best friend who is mentally ill. She's stretched a bit thin. She also wants me to move home and has gone so far as to clear out a room for me. Part of me wants to go.
But there are things and reasons to delay - the surgery I'm having in February for example. I'm having a chest contour and will need about a month to really recover, so that's mid to late March. Partner is expected back in April or May to return to the boat. But we really have to decide if we are going to get on with it, or give up - and if we do I'm going home.
I don't care for Louisiana, not really at all. I don't find the local culture charming in the slightest, though I do like zydeco music. But the way the state is run is a concern to me as a Democrat - while they are improving and have a D governor now, that can always change. So it can be a bad place to live on a fixed income, even if costs will be lower there.
But I miss my Mum. I went home for a week at the beginning of Chanukah and it was great, and we had a wonderful time just hanging out, not even going out all that much. We went to see Dad, we did a little shopping and worked on the house organization since there is a house and a half of stuff in there. I talk to her at least once a week just to shoot the shit. We were estranged for a long time, and now the time I have left of precious to me in a way it wasn't before. My Gran isn't going to live forever either, she's 91 and winding down like an old watch. She sleeps more and more and interacts less and less - she's ready to move on.
I don't want to give up on a lifelong dream, but at the same time - family is precious. This is going to be the year of hard choices, as well as a year of action.
